THE RUDY STORY

Does anyone remember the old story told on air about how Rudy was so scrawny that he used to borrow girls clothes and belts because they would fit him?

Okay, so while we're in Florida turns out Rudy was about an hour away on a week's vacation with his family. He was getting antsy being around mom and dad and sister and brother-in-law and not being able to cut loose in true Rudy-like fashion, so he borrows a car and drives an hour one way to the marina then rents the water taxi (boat) to get over to our island to hand out with us for a day. He had his first beer before even getting off the dock. I saw him from halfway across the bay. Not him so much as his blaze orange Jagermeister cap. It was like a guy with delirium tremors wearing a traffic cone on his head. So the drinking continues throughout the day. Rudy, Stacee and I go down to the beach (had someone with us watching the kids, no worries) and party all afternoon downing Coronas and Miller Lites. The wind that day was so fierce (just after a storm) that it felt like we were being sandblasted, well, literally. We all went body boarding, boogie boarding, whatever you want to call it, and that was way cool. So now we're half tanked and we go back to the beach house and I grill up some dinner. After that the three of us are going to take a boat to the mainland and go out for some drinks. Rudy puts on a pair of shorts which are falling right off his frame. He'd pull em back up take three steps and they were nearly at his knees again. Yep, the only shorts he brought with him. What to do. I ask Stacee if he can borrow a belt. So there's Rudy, wearing a pretty rhinestone belt belonging to my wife. Now I've known the guy for years, but that seemed to make it all the weirder to go out drinking with a guy who's wearing my wife's clothing. So Stacee and I along with Rudy in drag go to the mainland and we find a Hooter's. Imagine how pleased my wife is that we're sitting in a Hooter's with her belt on Rudy and my eyes on, well, no, I would never. (cough cough)
So that night Rudy and I got so hammered while my wife simply tolerated us. Her mistake was she stopped drinking earlier whereas Rudy and I being the professionals we are knew to keep going. We had beer, shots of Kamikazees, some specialty Hooter's drink with vodka I think, shots of Jack...well I had the shots of Jack that night and Rudy wouldn't join me in any, so when he went to the bathroom I took a shot of Jack and poured it in his Corona, he came back took one sip and, "Okay who's the assclown who put Jack in my f'ing beer!" ... and lots more drinks I can't even remember. We were never driving though so what the hell. I just felt bad for Stacee because she's never seen Rudy like this. The more he drank the more he tried flirting with waitresses (we didn't stay at Hooters we went other places) and Rudy's whole flirting style is very strange. Instead of complimenting the girl he's hitting on he sorta compliments himself to the girl. Yeah, it didn't work. Oh also we went someplace where there was karaoke and I kept urging Rudy to get up and sing. They had Doors and Stone Temple Pilots and stuff he could've sang, and he kept ALMOST doing it which would have been hysterical in his glittery girl belt and with how drunk he was, but he always chickened out at the last moment. More to tell but I'll wait till one day when he can defend himself, lol. He never did throw up off the side of the boat. Impressive. He crashed on the couch, and in the morning at 7 am I'm up with Jack (my son, not Daniels) and Jack is jumping on him and kicking him in the back screaming "wake up! wake up Rudy!" and he was so wasted he didn't even know. Oh, and the dumbass left with my wife's belt. He must have a collection. Good times, good times.